Themes

I don't know about you, but with me, God seems to work in themes. Right now, the theme seems to be kings.

Strange theme, I know. But He is using the concept of kings to teach lessons of submission and acceptance to me.

The cultivation of a more submissive heart - toward Him and toward other authorities has been a life-long struggle for me. Forthose who know me well, it comes as no surprise that I can be a bit opinionated. . . even arrogant. My natural tendency is to believe I know what is best in pretty much every situation. However, over the years God has allowed me to be in enough situations where I definitely do NOT know what is best to teach me a bit of humility.

But I think there is a difference between humility and a submissive heart. Humility is an acknowledgement of a lack of knowledge, the admission that I do not know everything about everything. Submission, on the other hand, is the willingness to follow another's lead. The operative word here is "willingness."

Now don't get me wrong, I am perfectly willing to follow when someone is leading in a manner that is attractive to me. That is, if the person is kind, caring, has the best interests of his or her followers at heart. Following someone like that is, generally speaking, not a problem. But I tend to balk and begin to take issue when the person leading has an obvious lack of concern for the well-being of those following, or a greater concern for their agenda than for their people.

I recently read the book A Tale of Three Kings, in which the author, Gene Edwards, takes a look at Saul, David & Absalom. More to the point, he takes a look at David's heart in his dealings with Saul and Absalom. There are a couple things in the book that really hit home with me.

The first is David's refusal to grasp the kingdom. Although he had been anointed as king, he would not make a move against Saul. I have wondered several times if David's logic went something like, Saul was anointed king, then I was anointed king. If I choose to take the kingdom from Saul by force, then what can I expect to happend to me later on? Will someone choose to take the kingdom from me by force? Scripture does not tell us David's thoughts on the issue, it simply tells us that he refused to raise a hand against Saul because he, Saul, was God's anointed king. David lived his life as best he could while awaiting the fulfillment of God's promise that he would be king, but did nothing to hasten that day.

Later, when Absalom wrested the throne from him, David did not fight to remain king. Edward's take was that David figured that the kingdom belonged to God, and it was His to lead through whomever He saw fit. If God was finished with David, then David was okay with that. If not, he trusted God to return him to the throne. It's a view that I've never heard before, and I think it has merit.

This idea has started me wondering, what are the things in my life, the kingdoms if you will, to which I cling? Do I view all things as belonging to God, or do I grasp at certain things, claiming them as mine? What about my ideas, my ways of doing things, my habits and the generalities of the life I live? Do I have a firm grasp on these things, making sure that they do not slip from my hands? If God chose to make drastic changes or even remove some or all of these things from my life, how would I react? Would I plead my case before Him, demanding, appealing, pleading, begging, to have things back? Or would I accept His decision as best for not only me, but for everyone involved?

I'm afraid that there are some things about which I would rail against the perceived injustice of the change or removal. So now I get to pray for a heart that receives all things as from the hand of my loving Heavenly Father, a heart that acknowledges and willingly accepts His sovereignty in every situation.

I wrote the last three paragraphs earlier this afternoon. I couldn't finish writing this piece at the time because I needed to do some homework reading, then leave to go to our weekly Bible study. On my way to Bible study, however, I almost rear-ended a minivan. Instead I ended up crashing the side of my husband's truck into the right rear corner panel of said minivan. I tried to go around but had to slow down to keep from going into the ditch. When I hit the brakes the tail of the truck whipped to the left and WHAM!

My very first thought after pulling the truck to a safe stop was, "Okay, Lord, You didn't have to be so pointed with this lesson!" Then my mind started running through all those involved - the family in the minivan, my husband & myself - and the fact that I now get to choose to trust God that this is somehow going to work out for the good in all our lives.

To be honest, I don't see anything good in this.

No, that is not true. There are some good things.

• There were no injuries
• Both vehicles were able to be driven away from the scene.
• My husband, who had been at a men's retreat since Thursday evening, called within 5 minutes of the accident to say that he was on his way home, and was able to meet me at a safe place a block or so from the accident site.

So there are good things to see in this circumstance. And I am deeply grateful for those things. I am so glad that no one was hurt! When I saw those little ones in the back seat with their mama, I was just horrified to think what could have happened if I had hit them straight on, or if I had been a few feet further when I hit the brakes and the tail end of my truck had hit the side of their car...

God truly is good ALL the time.

I do not know why this happened. I wish that it had not. However, I choose to see the good in the situation, and to be thankful for that good. As time passes and I see the story unfold, perhaps there will be even more for which I will find myself grateful.

In the meantime, I really hope that God does not choose such drastic means to bring home the other lessons He is teaching me with this theme of kings!

A Psalm - when too much is too much, but must be done

I am overwhelmed.
The mountains crush in on me.
They grow with each passing day.
I am buried.

Oh God I cry out to You!
Save me from despair!
Give me eyes to see the task at hand,
the next step to take.
Let me not be overtaken with
the entirety of the mountain.

I wait, silently, for You.
Your peace flows into my soul.
I am calmed. I can breathe again.
Oh God, You are my strength,
You light my way.
I will sing praise to You, Most High God!

The Obedience of Faith

"... Jesus Christ our Lord, through whom we have received grace and apostleship to bring about the obedience of faith for the sake of his name among all the nations," Romans 1:4b-5

I have been reading through Romans this summer. Each time I read through the book I concentrate on a specific word or set of words. The current theme, begun this morning, is obey/obedience, so this phrase, obedience of faith, struck me. Actually, it was on my first summer trip through Romans, as I looked for the word 'faith' that I was initially struck by this phrase. But it hit me again as I read through it this morning. The overpowering sense that I get from the phrase is that faith produces obedience. And also, that obedience produces faith.

Many years ago our pastor, Ron Mehl (who has since moved to Heaven), said, "You can never fully trust God until you are fully obedient to God." I did not truly comprehend his statement at the time, but it stuck with me. As I grew in my understanding of God and His will, I began to comprehend what Pastor Ron meant. God has promised that when we are obedient to Him all of His many blessings are poured out on us. Thus we see the fulfillment of His promise and we trust Him to be true to His word. However, God has also promised that when we choose to be disobedient then those blessings are not available. Unfortunately, when we choose disobedience, and thus a lack of God's blessing, we rarely ever see the result as part of God's promise. Rather, we tend to blame God because our lives are difficult. So obedience brings trust, or faith in God. But the crux of the issue is not what I do or don't do. Rather, it is the direction of my heart.

"the obedience of faith"

Not the obedience of the law.

There is a real difference. The two are not interchangeable.

The obedience of the law is either doing or not doing a thing because it is required by law that I do or not do that thing. I stop at a red light because the law says that I must. Even if it is six a.m. on a Sunday morning and there are no other cars in sight, if the light is red I stop and wait until the light turns green. I do not do this because I believe it is unsafe to do otherwise, or because of love for the officials of my city, county, state or country. I do this because the law requires it. Personally, I would much rather go through the red light. If no other car is in sight, and I can see for a hundred yards or more in every direction, it is reasonable, and safe, for me to proceed through the intersection. Yet I do not. Why? Because the law requires that I wait until the light turns green before proceeding. I am doing what the law requires, not because I believe in the law for that particular circumstance, but because obedience is required.

Obedience of faith, however, is much different. Obedience of faith is an obedience that flows out of a belief in the goodness and rightness of God. Because I believe that God's purposes for me are motivated by His overwhelming, all-consuming love, I choose to obey Him. I read the Bible because I want to know more about Him and His desires. I do my best to be obedient to those desires, not because I am required to do so, but because I believe they are given with my best interests in mind.

God is Creator of all that exists, including me. If He created me, designed me, shaped every intricacy about me, then He should know how it is that I will best perform, how it is that I will best be suited to be who He created me to be.

If a person were to design a computer program for cooks, it might include features such as storing recipes, adjusting recipes according to the number of servings required, pairing compatible foods for nutritious and appetizing meals, providing a shopping list of ingredients for chosen recipes, etc. The designer of the program would also, one would hope, prepare a user's manual for the program which would explain each of the features and how best to use them. While there might be a feature called, "NOTES" in the program, in which one would make personal notes for a given recipe, one could not reasonably expect to be able to use that feature for Biology 101 class notes. The program is not designed for taking notes, per se. It is designed for storing recipes and creating menus and shopping lists.

We are God's creation, His design. He designed us to work best under certain circumstances and within a specific set of parameters. Our first ancestors rebelled at the thought of being created and wanted to be Creator, or at least to be like the Creator.

And so it is with us today. We do not like the idea that we are created. Nor that God created us to work best when living as He describes in His user manual. We want to make the rules. Maybe God created me with good communication skills and very little or no fear of standing in front of crowds, with the intent that I teach people about Him and who He is. Maybe I don't like the idea of being a created, designed entity and I want to make my own choices regarding how I use the features God designed into me. So, instead of inspiring people to know their Creator better, I spend my time inspiring people to know themselves better, to look at their strengths and choose for themselves what it is they want to do with those strengths, those things God has programmed into them as part of His design for how they should work. I would be using the features God designed into me, but I would not be using them as intended. It might work, just as one might be able to enter biology notes into a recipe program. But will it work best? Will I be being the best me that I can be?

I don't think so. I think rather that I would be a lesser me, because I would be obedient to the law of my programming, communicating well to people, but my heart would be focused on me rather than on my Creator. I would be doing a thing because there is a 'law' built into the fabric of who I am that says, "Do this." However, because my heart would be, as the prophets said so well, far from God, all the doing would have no lasting value, no real meaning.

If, however, I choose to keep my heart focused on my Creator/Designer, if I work within the parameters of His user manual - not because I am required, but because I believe Him to be good and kind and loving - then I am working at top performance. I am working as I was designed to work. I am being the best me that I can be.

So, how does this play out in real life? It sounds good on paper or a computer screen, but what does it look like at work, or in the grocery store, or when a friend or acquaintance is more than a little annoying? What about injustice and wrong-doing? How do I respond to those things in life that make me want to act in a way that is not the best way for me to act? What do I do when the virus of sin, that I can not seem to completely eradicate from my system, wants to take over my programming?

I am human, after all.

This is where the user's manual is so important. Every time I read it, I learn new things, acquire new skills that I did not have before.

For instance, I have been in a situation for several years where I think it is fair to say that there is a certain amount of injustice that happens on a regular basis. Certain people are allowed to disregard protocol, and the resulting issues create extraneous work for others who are already overloaded. For several years, I tried to "help" the person in charge see the problem so it could be fixed. To no avail. In fact, I began to realize that every time I brought something to this person's attention, rather than address the ones responsible for the problem, more burden was added to another's plate. I quit bringing things to the PIC's attention, but I was still very frustrated by what I saw. Then one day as I read Psalm 37 words interspersed through the first few verses leapt off the page at me, "Fret not yourself because of evildoers... trust in the Lord and do good... fret not yourself... Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil." Suddenly I realized that I was fretting, almost daily, over evildoers -- those who did wrong and those who had the power to stop them, but refused to do so. And yes, it did tend toward evil. I was constantly in a state of inner turmoil because I was fretting over wrongdoing that I wanted to fix but could not. However, God's User Manual tells me not to fret over wrongdoing. Rather, I am to trust in Him.

So the question became one of trust. Did I believe that God is sovereign and that He will, at the right time, act to bring about right? I had to make a choice.

I came away from that reading with three thoughts:
Don't fret about what others are doing
You trust God and do good yourself
God will take care of the rest

I cease to fret (most of the time!) about the 'evil' that happens in this place because I have faith in God's sovereignty. I believe in His goodness, and will trust in His timing to bring about justice. Or mercy. Because He, in His infinite wisdom, may choose mercy to change hearts rather than justice to change only circumstances.

The obedience of faith. It is an obedience that flows out of faith in God's sovereignty, faith in His goodness, His love, His rightness. It is not an obedience that is given because of requirement, like sitting at a red light. It is an obedience that is given in return for the faithfulness of a never-changing God who always keeps His word. A God who knows how we best work, because He is, after all, the One who designed us.

Responder

For most of my life I have been a responder. I was well into adulthood when I realized this about myself, and was horrified by the realization. I suddenly began to see myself laughing at things I didn't truly find funny, simply because it was expected that I would laugh. I heard myself saying things to other people that I did not feel, simply because it was what I believed they wanted to hear. I realized that I had been like this from the time I was a little girl.

Since that dawn of realization I have worked diligently to not be a responder. It has been hard work. At times I still see the roots of the responder mentality at work in my personality. So it is a regular prayer of mine that I will have a discerning mind and truthful words with which to answer when I find myself on the verge of responding in a specific manner simply because I believe that response is what is expected in that particular situation.

However, I have recently had a thought that makes me wonder if being a responder is a wholly unhealthy thing, or if it may be that this bent can be turned toward good. This paradigm shift began the other day as I read Revelation 2:19, I know your works, your love and faith and service and patient endurance..." This verse, which iterates the goodnesses that He recognized in the people there, is part of the message from Jesus to the Church at Thyatira. The good thing that Jesus saw and that is here rendered "service" stood out to me. Curiosity led me to a study of the word and I found that a literal translation would be something like, attendance as a servant.

Okay.

So, how does a servant attend?

Servants are a somewhat foreign concept to those of my acquaintance. However, I have read literature from other times and places, so I at least have an idea of how a servant ought to attend. The picture I have is of one who is observant of his or her master at all times. One who anticipates the master's need and provides it before being asked. One who is cognizant of the slightest motion of the master's hand, a raised eyebrow, or a simple glance and, upon notice of that motion, responds to the master's command. A good servant does not question the command; he simply responds in the manner he is expected to respond because it has become his nature to do so. A servant, then, is a person who has made it a habit to respond, without thought or question, to what he or she knows another desires.

In Thyatira we see a group of people who respond with the same diligence that a well-trained servant would respond to his or her master or mistress. But to whom or what are they responding? When one looks at the other goodnesses that are listed in this verse, love, faith and patient endurance, it becomes fairly apparent that their service was toward God. It may very well be that the service was in the form of services rendered to their fellow man. The point here, though, is not what those services were, but that they were rendered with an unquestioning response to what these people knew was God's will. They had trained themselves to be responders to the known will of God.

Jesus taught that we should do to others as we would like to have done to us. He said that we are to love each other in the same way that He loves us. The obvious follow-up to that is, and He loved us so much He died for us. True. However, before He showed us how to die for others, He first demonstrated how to live for others. What was it that He said over and over? "I came to do the will of my Father." And in those teaching moments that we so often overlook because we think He is talking about some special mystical union between He and Father God, we miss the lesson.

He came to do the will of the Father.
He taught us to do what He did.
Our purpose is to do the will of the Father.

I think the Thyatirans understood this lesson. The list of goodnesses that Jesus saw in them is couched between two phrases that tell us of a journey on which the Thyatirans had been. I know your works... and that your latter works exceed the first. These people were not natural responders to God. These were people who, through prayer, study of God's Word and practice of what they learned, had trained themselves to become responders to what they knew was God's will. These were people who had learned to love others; they had learned to become true servants of God by serving others in His name.

Jesus went on with some pretty severe admonishment for a specific group of people within the church at Thyatira. Then afterward, He turned back to those who had remained faithful. He said to them, "Hold fast what you have until I come." If Jesus says to hold tightly to something, then it's a sure bet that we want to hold tightly to it.

So...

maybe being a responder isn't such a bad thing after all. Maybe that characteristic is the one through which God will channel a stream of Living Water for the nourishment of others' souls. Maybe, just maybe, as I spend time in scripture, spend time in prayer, and practice those things I know to be God's will -- loving others, being faithful, giving generously, sharing the good that He has done in my life -- maybe as I do these things as a service to God, then He will take my character flaw, repair and remake it, then use it for the betterment of others and for His Glory. I have a prayerful and expectant hope that He will.

"For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God." 2 Corinthians 4:15

Cherry Pits, Tangerine Seeds, and Worship

I am taking a class on the book of Revelation. One aspect of the homework for this class is to read through the entire book each week. While reading this week I have been struck by the worship that is described throughout the book. Once the intro and the messages to the churches have been given, the opening scene is a description of God's throne room in Heaven, where we see four rather strange looking creatures who continually offer praises to God...

"Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty,
who was and is and is to come!"

In response to this offering of worship twenty-four elders, who sit on thrones encircling God's throne, come out of their seats, fall down in obeisance, and offer up their own words of praise...

"Worthy are you, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they existed and were created."

Turn the page, and there we see the four creatures and the twenty-four elders worshiping the Lion of the tribe of Judah, who is also the Lamb that was slain, because He alone is worthy to open the scroll that the Almighty holds in His hand.

From this point, things get a little scary. There are earthquakes and famines and death and destruction everywhere. Yet interspersed, here and there, in the midst of all the carnage are moments where time seems to stop. The noise and the smells and the sights fade away, and worship comes from the hearts and voices of those around the throne (the size of the crowd seems to grow with each scene). Sometimes the worship is simply adoration of God for who He is. Other times the worship is because of what He has done. But it is not the reason for the worship that has struck me.

What has struck me is the fact that the worship comes in the middle of, sometimes in spite of and other times because of, all the terrible things that are happening. So I have to stop and ask myself a question.

Do I worship God in the midst of the terrible things in my life?

On the other hand, while most of us have had moments or seasons of life to which the label "terrible" could be appropriately attached, I think that maybe I should ask a question that is more mundane, more to the tune of everyday life.

Do I worship God in the midst of the inconvenient things in my life?

Here is the U.S. we tend to view those things that make us uncomfortable as though they are beneath us, as if we deserve something better. If what makes us uncomfortable is another person, we want to remove that person from our lives. If what makes us uncomfortable is a situation or circumstance in which we find ourselves, then we work diligently to extract ourselves from that situation or circumstance. We really think that life should be a bowl of cherries. We believe those cherries should be pitted for us so we don't have to deal with the mess of doing it ourselves. We may even go so far as to think that the cherries should be pitted outside of our view so we never even have to be cognizant of the fact that the cherries ever had such things as pits in them.

Unfortunately, life is not a bowl of pitted cherries. Generally, we not only have to pit the cherries, we have to go to the orchard, pick the cherries, bring them home and wash them first. And sometimes, they even have worms in them.

So how do I handle life when it has wormy cherries? Do I have a heart of worship toward my Creator because of Who He is and for all He has done? Am I thankful that He created cherries? Am I honored that He loves us, His creation, enough that He would give us the sense of taste? Am I grateful that cherries taste so good?

The other day I had a honey tangerine for lunch. Honey tangerines are possibly the sweetest citrus fruit on the face of the planet. Their name is an apt description of their flavor.

They also have seeds. Lots of them. And, the skin around each section is a little tough, so it is not overly easy to get the seeds out.

So, as I seeded the tangerine, one of my co-workers walked through the lunchroom. I looked up at her and said, "You know, I love the flavor of these things, but it's a royal pain to get the seeds out." In the back of my mind I was beginning to think that maybe we should just stick with navel oranges. After all, they don't have seeds. Okay, they are not as sweet either, but they are so much easier to eat.

Now, until last fall, I had never heard of honey tangerines. But they have been in the produce section of our local grocery store for several months. We buy a few every payday when we do our semi-monthly tour through that store. For months I have been willingly taking seeds out of honey tangerines so that I can enjoy their flavor. Suddenly, the task of removing seeds seems like more work than the flavor of the fruit is worth. Why is that?

I hate to admit it, but I think the reason is that I have become focused on the seeding of the tangerine rather than on the eating of the tangerine. I have allowed the drive-through mentality of my society color my vision regarding honey tangerines.

Granted, honey tangerines are not a an issue of gargantuan proportion, but what about the rest of my life? Am I always looking for the easy way to do things, getting irritated at inconveniences, feeling as though life should be easier? Have I lost the attitude of worship?

Did I ever really have an attitude of worship?

When I look back at the worship scenes in the book of Revelation, I am struck again with wonder at how worship forces the horrendous into the background. How much more would it cause the inconvenient to become small and inconsequential? It is so much easier to view the world through the filter of gratefulness than through the filter of entitlement. Entitlement, believing that I deserve something or that things should be made easy for me, makes every aspect of my life heavy and difficult to bear. Worship, on the other hand, makes my life seem so much better, so much easier to handle. Entitlement encloses me in the grey clouds of self-centered thoughts. Worship opens the doors and windows and welcomes the sun's rays as they warm and cheer me from the inside out.

Yes, I've had some terrible moments in my life, and I have inconveniences on a daily basis. But I think I will choose the sunshine. I will enjoy my cherries and honey tangerines in spite of pits and seeds. I will be thankful for the sweetness of their flavors. I will worship God because He has given me the sense of taste, whereby I get to enjoy that which is required for the continued nourishment of my body. I will delight in the color that my eyes see around me, thankful that, while He could have made the world black and white, He chose to give us colors and eyes that see them. I will delight in the smoothness of finely polished wood, and also at the texture of fresh tilled earth beneath my bare feet. I will enjoy the smell of wood burning in the stove in winter, and savor the scent of rose and lavender wafting on the breeze in summer. I will listen with delight as the birds sing on the morning air and fall asleep to the thrumming of rain on the roof at night. With my own heart, and with my own voice, I will join those around God's throne as they sing...

"Salvation belongs to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!
Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God forever and ever! Amen."

Thinks

I have thought for sometime that I should start a blog.
Why?
For several reasons.
-- I often want to share things just because I think they are worth sharing.
-- Sometimes it helps me to better formulate my thoughts if I am writing them down for others.
-- It sounds like a good idea... and it has sounded like a good idea long enough that I have decided that it must be one.

So, what am I going to put in this blog?
Dr. Suess wrote, "Oh, the Thinks you can think!"
That is what I am going to put here ... my Thinks.

I suppose a caveat might be in order.
I am a Christian. My faith is very important to me. My God, my Savior Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit are very important to me. I think about them a lot. Expect to hear about them as I write my Thinks.

I love people - mostly. There are a few individuals who bother me from time to time. But for the most part, I like folks. Even the ones who are sometimes inconvenient. I'm learning that most inconveniences are short-lived and not worth getting upset about.

I do get upset sometimes, though. And it's usually at inconveniences.
(I DID say I am learning)

Because I have yet to fully learn, some of my Thinks may be in the form of rants.
I apologize in advance.
I can be very opinionated.

Who am I?

Oh, well, I guess an introduction is in order.

I am . . .
A mom to 3 grown children.
A grandma to one wonderful little Sweet Pea.
A wife to a the man I married almost 27 years ago, and with whom I hope to spend at least another 27 years.

I was working before I finished high school and then I fulfilled my life-long dream by marrying young and becoming a mother. Now that my children are all grown, I am pursuing a "higher" education. My goal is to someday be in full time ministry teaching the Bible on an adult level, and also helping women who have been hurt realize the freedom of no longer living in the pain of the past. I know the phrase is overused, but I have been there and done that. It is so much better to be here, doing this. I want everyone to know that freedom.

Well, these are enough Thinks for this evening. Morning comes early around here.